Sex

Ok so sex is the most common topic at work in some form or fashion today. Damn it man. Well today is our bosses' birthday. Around 3ish everyone came up here to have cake and ice cream. Well, one of our ladies tells us she's pregnant! This is a lady that is approx. 45 years old and already has two kids and a grand baby. Supposedly her husband has been "fixed" as she calls it, so this should not be happening according to him and herself. Well according to her doctors, she is pregnant. So everyone is totally wigging out and talking about sex. Well one of our senior ladies proceeds to tell one of our middle aged ladies that is is necessary to keep the bedroom hopping. And middle aged thought it was the best advice EVER!
Alright this is what's really going on. I'm 22 years old. I know that if the sex isn't good and frequent for BOTH parties, then no, the relationship probably won't work or last. I mean COME ON! I don't understand how relationships last without sex and I don't understand how they would work if either party was dissatisfied. Toby and I discuss our sexual relationship frequently and we both make sure that the other is completely and overly satisfied. And we are young. Hell, I know my mom is having good sex and she's pushing 45! So I know it's not an age issue. I guess what I don't understand is some people cannot communicate and compromise on one of the most important issues in their relationship. Damn, just give it up and let it out!! Have good slap-me-around get rowdy hard core sex and spice up your love life! It's not hard ladies and gents. It's NOT a challenge, or it shouldn't be, and if it is, then go home and fuck your man! Take him by surprise and just go for it, what's it gonna hurt?
I have learned that in a good, healthy relationship, you have good, healthy sex. If the sex ain't good, then the relationship is most likely in the same boat.

Nevermind...

Nevermind on getting Heaven tonight or shall I say for a few nights. I found out that she's going with her bio mom's mom for five days. Wow. Toby broke the news to me and I started crying :( I have no reason to be upset, I mean, she is not my bio child, but she might as well be. I wish she was. And I love her like she is...but she's not. Oh well...the adventures of being a future stepmom are emotional, esspecially this week. Send me vibes people!

Hump Day!

So it's Wednesday and that's pretty radical because I'm that much closer to Friday. Last night was fabulous!! I mean, awesome. Toby and I came home and drank some beer and played in the yard. I washed and peeled and prepared garlic cloves, which was a first for myself. I cooked some sausage jambalaya and put some of the fresh cloves in it and it was outstanding. Toby loves jambalaya and so do I. I also watered my plants and we talked about what we are going to transplant this weekend. I've got one tomato plant that is just bursting and it is in such desperate need of transplanting. Unfortunately, funds have been a little low for pots and soil, but Toby and I are breaking down and we are going to get it done this weekend, along with yard work. We have really got to clean our yard up some. I told Toby I kind of would like to have a little get together at our house for the Fourth of July and he said that was good. The only bad thing is rent is due that week, so we will have to plan depending upon our budget. Besides, for right now, it's just an idea, nothing set in stone.

Hopefully tonight Heaven Leigh is coming over. I love it when she comes over!! She always brightens my life a little more every time I see her pretty face. I have no idea what will be for supper...probably "mustgo" because everything in the fridge must go! I hate wasting foods, so I'll probably prepare something random with all of our leftovers!

It's been awhile...

So I haven't posted anything in a week or two. Oops. Well Mom's wedding went good...her dumbass husband pissed me off immensly the night before, so I really don't have any use whatsoever for him anymore. Come to think of it, I never really have, I've just tried to be nice. As long as he makes her happy, then I'm happy for her.

Well I took a couple of quick days off from work and went to Hilton Head and got extremely sunburnt. I stayed out for about 6 hours with no sunscreen, which was NOT smart. So the rest of my little vacation was spent sunburnt. But I'm now overing it, which is a relief. Toby stayed home while I was in Hilton Head, and I missed him so bad. I didn't realize I would miss him like I did, but WOW. I doubt we will be apart like that again for a long time. If ever. I love him so much, he's definetly my soul mate.

Father's Day was excellent. We had Heaven from Saturday until Monday and she had such a good time. We went swimming, played with the neighbors, planted some stuff in the yard, played inside, rode the tricycle, visited Papa Jim and Papa Aaron, and all sorts of other fun things. I bought Toby a grill for Father's Day and he was absolutely thrilled with it. We grilled steaks and they were to die for! We visited our dads which was really awesome. Toby's dad gave me so many plants and an aloe plant for my sunburn. I just love him so much! I can't wait until I can one day call him my father-in-law. Sunday night Toby was exhausted, he wasn't feeling good either, so he went to sleep around 7 and Heaven and I stayed up and watched Sunday night cartoons, so that gave us quality time together. She helped me clean up the kitchen and her toys. I love her like she's my own. I sure did miss her yesterday when she was gone, but she's probably coming back over tomorrow.

So tonight I'm going to go home and be extremely productive, beer included. I haven't really been able to do a whole lot with this sunburn, but I plan on cleaning my house and cooking a light supper. I'll probably water my plants and plant some more garlic seeds and of course spend time with my Toby. Ahh the good life...I love it so much.

Drama Drama Drama

Ok, so it's 3 days before my mother's wedding day and I must say, I'm doing GOOD. As for the drama, well, it's drama. I mean, how could I have expected to go through this whole thing without some? Puhhhhhleeeeeasssssssssseeeeeee. I know better. Okay, so two weeks ago our family attended John's wedding. Okay, well let me give some background to one of the guests. I'm going to call her Horseface.
So Horseface's sister used to be married to John. I loved her so much and I will always have an extra special place in my heart for her. Unfortunately, John and Horseface remained good friends since he divorced her sister. Ok, well it just so happens that Horseface is Toby's ex-girlfriend also. I have NOTHING against her. I've heard what kind of person she is and I don't choose to surround myself with people like her. Regardless of who she is or was to my boyfriend (this was many moons ago also, like 6 years ago) I still went out of my way to speak to her. Also know that this chick got knocked up and married and is about to pop and she's waddling everywhere, and she looks horrible. More or less, she looks miserable to me. Well as Toby and I are speaking to her, Toby jokingly tells her that he's got a baby in the oven with me, and I look at her, laugh and tell her he's full of it. And he is. I AM NOT PREGNANT!! We go about on our marry, drunk way, and mingle and talk with many people and eventually leave.
So last night, my mother calls screaming "why is Toby telling people you are pregnant? Are you?" Of course the POS phone is not cooperating and I can hear everything she says but she cannot hear what I am saying. Finally, she gets "not pregnant" and thank you God, the phone died. Now, my mom was VERY intoxicated and she's screaming stuff at me about Toby (they have had problems in the past) and screaming at me about all sorts of things. So after the phone died, not only did I have to deal with an upset BF, but Heaven was with us and her and I happened to be laying down when we got the message from Mom, and when I got up, she got up. So I had Toby and Heaven to settle back down. Toby was upset and crying (yes) and Heaven was whining about going to bed, and honestly, I was understanding the sleepy thing. So I comforted Toby, told him I remembered the incident Mom was talking about, and that it was Horseface who said it to John, who it turned called Mom and got her all upset. He was still upset because Mom and him have had rough times and just when we think it's a thing of the past, BIAM in your face Toby. It's always something. So of course Mom calls me first thing this morning and pretty much apologized for her actions. I explained to her exactly what happened and that it was a TOTAL misunderstanding. She understood, and she admitted she was pretty much toasted, and she didn't mean to use foul language on the phone. Everything is good now, and we are still going to midway. Oh the joys!!! I will be sure to call Horseface Friday night or at least make sure it gets back to her that, even though she was standing there miserable because she's preggo and was forced into marriage because of that does not mean that I am and that next time, she can get the story straight, esspecially if it's going back to my mother. Oh I hope labor is a bitch for her.

Another Monday...

Well the weekend was full of laziness! We didn't do anything except sit at home and watch TV, drank a lot, and cleaned. So another week has come. This weekend my mom gets married. Oh I'm excited I guess. Next week I'm going on a little vacation to Hilton Head. I'm going to visit cousin Allison. I guess you could say I'm having a slight emotional breakdown. Yes I am. I guess it's because I don't really consider myself to have "friends" anymore. I guess I have acquaintances. I'm not running a popularity contest or anything, but DAMN I would greatly appreciate it if the people that used to say "oh yeah Brandi is one of my good friends" would at least pick up the phone and say "how have you been? Are you still alive?"

Unfortunately for them, yes! I am still here, bitches. And don't forget it either. I just miss being around other people. Yes Toby and I are hermits. But we are happy hermits! We probably have a total of 10 people that keep tabs on us, which I guess is a good number? Whatever. I think my problem is growing up. Yes I'm getting older, which means no fun filled weekends, no trips to the bar, no road trips or anything.

I guess that's ok though. I mean, I gave that lifestyle up. I DID IT. So I guess I should probably not worry about it. Anyways...I am going to spend some time with cousin Allison because in my times of despair, she always makes me feel better. Always. So I shall go forth and spend time with Allison on the island. I have good hopes that it will do my mind and body and spirit some good.

It's Finally The Weekend!!

Well Friday has arrived and as of now I have 2 hours left until it's officially the weekend for me! YAY! This week just seemed to really drag by and it was kind of rough. Oh I'm so excited to sleep in in the morning! Hopefully I'll make it past 9 am because usually we are both up and jumping at 8. And that leads to me either 1) having to take a nap or 2) going to bed at 8pm on a Saturday night.

We don't really have plans for this weekend. Our friends Nancy and Rob are having a birthday party for Rob's son Ethan this weekend, so we might grab up Heaven and go let her get some time with a lot of good kids. Toby and I along with the rest of the family are learning that she needs to be around other kids as much as possible. That way, when August rolls around and she starts school, she will be less likely to disrupt the classroom and cause a lot of mayhem. I mean, what parent/stepparent/papa/grandma wants that to happen? NONE! So we are defintely booking kiddie play dates, if anyone in the area is interested, please contact me asap.

On another note...oh mother, oh mother. Yes I'm talking about mine. She's carrying a marriage liscense around as we speak. The date is for next Saturday, and it's a big secret. As of right now, nobody reads my blog (that I know of) so I don't think it will hurt to talk about it. Glen is a good guy. He has some things about him that I don't particullarly care for, but my mom has to put up with that, so whatever is clever. As long as he is good to her and respects her and is a good model husband and step-father to my brother, I don't care. The only people that are going to be there are Glen's mom and daughter, me, Toby, and little Eric. Ginny may go, but she's very spontaneous so you never really know. It's going to be simple and plain and enjoyable. On the Tybee Island peer. I'm really excited for my mom. She's sooooooo nervous!! It's so cute, I love it. This is what I live for, to see my mother happy again and nervous and funny. But most important, happy again. We have been trying to decide on a dress and flowers and flip flops. I'll probably go spend the night with her next Thursday. It will be our time. You see, my mother, aside from Toby, is my best friend. She's been here for me through everything. She always kept me under her wing and took me in when she knew she was the only person I had. You see, when I was very young, my parents divorced and mom remarried. He was mean to me, esspecially after Ginny was born, and my dad was having rough times and wasn't really in contact too much. So...I was a momma's girl. Always have been, always will be. When I was a child, my biggest fear was losing my mother. What would I do? Where would I go? Who would I live with? What about my siblings? We would be seperated? Now, almost 23, I still don't know what I would do if anything happens to her. She is the BEST MOM EVER. I don't care what you say! Really my mom has ALWAYS gone above and beyond for us. She always made sure we were taken care of and had clothes, a roof over our heads, and food on the table. She always makes sure that we celebrate our birthdays. She always finds a way, because she has a will. She is the most driven woman I have ever known. And it was all for us. I've seen her in her deepest of sorrows and she was STILL a good mom. My mom is the poster mom for all single working mothers across America. She's the shit. So yes, it's kind of hard seeing her get married. I mean, I just want the absolute best for my mother. No less. I have faith that Glen will make her happy and fulfill her needs for the rest of her life. Sorry for rambling, I just had to get all that out. So next Saturday here we come!

A New Day

Well today is Wednesday, hump day. Oh what a hump it is! I'm so ready for the weekend. I really want to go to the beach. Hopefully our funds will be available in order to do so.

So I went and picked up Heaven last night and she was a model child. Well mannered, no problems or fits, no screaming, no goodbyes. I have come to realize that the only reason she acted the way she did was because she wanted to stay and play with Hayden. Children always go for the more entertaining options they have and I guess we didn't hold a candle to baby Hayden night before last, which is completely understood. So we had a nice family evening at Nana Tara's and our house. I cooked a cheddar melt, which was delicious, and Heaven throughly enjoyed it.

Oh and yesterday I got my vacation approved. I will be off June 12th and 13th!!! I'm thrilled. I'll probably spend this time with my best friend Kelli. We have been planning on it for quite some time. And I may possibly venture to Hilton Head and spend some time with Allison and the Jones family. I'm basically just going for an all out relaxation festival for myself. And hopefully it will work out nicely. I'm so excited!

Friends Come And Go

Alright, so lately I've been feeling like I don't have many true "friends" left. But I have come to the realization that if they aren't here today like they were a year ago, then they probably never were really TRUE friends. Sometimes, esspecially with girls, people feel like they are constantly competing in a popularity contest. They do whatever they can to gain all these friends, but little do they realize that the people they are so quick to befriend will soon be replaced with new ones because of the popularity thing inside their heads. Too bad for the people being befriended huh? Yeah well that has happened to me. I mean, this girl I REALLY thought was a friend isn't. She betrayed me, pretty much behind my back, in a couple of different ways, then tried to lie about it when I asked her and made up excuses and little fibs. All because of her own personal inner popularity contest. Whatever you know? Did it ever occur to this simple bitch that I am not a moron? That I have feelings and she shouldn't be so quick to do the ridiculous things she does? Probably not. So with that little bit said, I can honestly say that I can count on my hands the number of TRUE friends I have. And they are the ones that have been there since I can practically remember. They are the ones that I can call on when I need to talk about something and they won't judge me whatsoever. They are the friends that will come pick my drunk ass up off the side of the road when I have run my car into a ditch. They are the friends that even though we haven't seen each other in a year or two, they can still ask me a favor and I'll do it and they would in return. They are the friends that I love, have had for many years, and will have for many more. Friends come and go, but TRUE FRIENDS stay forever.

Adventures in Step-Parenting

Last night was supposed to be awesome. I was going to pick up Heaven after work and we were going to go home and as a family clean up our yard a little more. Oh No.

Well, for those of you that don't know, Heaven is my step-daughter, or she will be when her dad and I marry. Her mother passed away when she was 18 months old. So this has been a factor in mine and Toby's relationship. When we first started dating (2 years ago, 2 months after his wife passed) we did not have good responses. Everyone thought I was trying to play the mommy role and they thought he was using me for a rebound. WRONG!!! Two years later, here we are, in a loving wonderful relationship. And although his daughter is not technically mine, I wish she was. I look at her as my own. I love her as my own and I will NEVER treat my children any different from her. And whoever doesn't like it, well, they have either accepted or rejected it. Either way, it doesn't matter. We are still a family. No she doesn't live with us, but that's another story that I don't care to disclose online. Moving on...

So I go to pick Heaven up from Tammy's. Little did I know that Heaven had a playmate, who happened to be a little boy, over and she WAS NOT going with me. She isn't exactly used to having other kids around, so when there's one to play with, she likes to take full advantage of her situation. She knew all day long that I was coming to get her and that the little boy would be going home too. At six o'clock, it was a different story. I walked inside and told her she was coming to spend the night with Daddy and BB and she started screaming to the top of her lungs. "NO GOODBYE BB GOODBYE. I'M STAYING WITH NANA AND HAYDEN. GOODBYE! I HATE YOU GOODBYE."

Talk about a heartache. I have to remind myself....she's only three!! I hate you? Goodness. I was so shocked she acted that way. Yeah she's spoiled rotten and she will pitch a fitch with the quickness, but WOW I'm new to this. And she caught me by surprise. Toby was at home, so I had no backup in this. It was insane. I know she doesn't hate me, and Nana made her apologize because she knows "hate" is an ugly word, but WOW, I'm still shocked, and still a little nervous. But Nana said she's done this to her before also, so I shouldn't take it to heart. So Nana and I decided that she would bring Heaven over when Hayden went home. Well by 8 o'clock Hayden's parents had not come to pick him up, so we shall try again tonight. Don't get me wrong, we keep Heaven often, but her actions shocked me so much I had to write about it today. Maybe I should have just grabbed her up and put her in the car and shown her that you can't always have your way? It would have been a struggle, but I could have done it. She needs to learn that, but being the "stepmom" figure that I am, do I have a right to make decisions in order to teach her a life lesson? Well Toby will be with me tonight and Hayden shouldn't be there...so here we go again. I'm just praying she won't act out again. Give me some input please, even if you are a stranger, and let me know what you would have done in my situation? Would you have made her go? Just a little insight please.

Memorial Day & The Weekend

Well wouldn't you know I have to work on Memorial Day? Of course this is a car dealership!! Don't you know we sell TONS of cars today? Yeah right tell someone that hasn't done this for four consecutive years that line. No we don't sell as many as I would like for us to, but I suppose we sell enough to make me, along with my other disappointed co-workers, come to work. Oh well.

So this weekend was pretty radical. Toby and I finally finished the hard parts of landscaping our yard! It looks out of this world marvelous. I just can't hardly believe it.

John's wedding was Saturday on Tybee. Although the weather didn't permit it from being on the actual beach, it was still very nice. The only thing bad I had to say about it, and I'll say it, I'M SELFISH, is it was hard to see John getting married and starting his new life. He's like my brother. I look up to him in so many incredible ways and I love him so much. I cried like a baby during the ceremony. It's just a reminder that I'm getting older and things, along with the people I love, are changing. And it's surreal. John has taught me so much about life and we have spent MANY days and nights together talking, laughing, playing guitar (or me trying and him playing), fishing, riding in the boat. All sorts of things. He bought me my first fishing licence. He taught me how to drive a boat. He showed me the most awesome sand bar on the Ogeechee. Taught me how to tune a guitar. When I was a kid he let me play on his turntables (which was so awesome) and he also blessed me with a fond hatred for Freddy Kruger and scary movies. And he accompanied me and my mother to River Street for my 21st birthday, although his new found love had inspired him to quit drinking. And it was so special. All these things ran through my head Saturday and it made me realize how much I miss my Uncle Brother John. I understand we have both grown up in a since and now have our own families and lives going on. But no matter what, he's always going to hold the most ultra special place in my heart. I welcome Belinda, Victoria, and Amber into our family, and I love them very much because John does and now they are part of him and who he is. This wedding really made me realize that growing up is inevitable, whether you choose to accept it or not. And it has it's own perks. You just want to remember people and places that you will never forget and always hold special in your heart and that even though things change, love never fails to bring everything together.

For Starters

So this is my first entry of my new blog. Let me explain why I've decided to do this. I love reading other people's blogs. As a matter of fact, I've learned so much from blogging already. Basically I've just gathered TONS of information on wonderful subjects and I'm always putting them to use. Also, it's a great way to keep up with ideas that I have and it's a form of therapy for me also. So here we go!